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| a horrible hurricane is coming.. people are being displaced.. people could even die.. homes..propety..belongings will be lost.. all i can think about is how i will not be able to fix my hair once the power goes out.. terrible terrible vanity.. | | |
| Jesus is doing some really cool stuff in my life. things i never dreamed possible. that's all. | | |
| Earlier tonight I was watching my little brother & sisters play, it's something I've been doing alot lately because it is insane what you can learn from just watching children interact.They were playing "wedding", it was so precious. While my brother was setting up for the "reception" I noticed my sister was looking in the mirror. She was pulling her hair up in different ways, looking over the details of her face, trying to find beauty. Watching this made me terribly sad because it made me realize that my sweet, 8 year old sister is no longer living her life in that innocence that thinks the world is infatuated with it & has no idea that it might not be enough. Lately she's been making statements that she's weird or annoying or not pretty. Watching that moment, seeing the dissapointment in her eyes because what she thought she needed to see was not there; my heart is a little bit broken. I know it is naive & silly to wish for innocence to last forever but I wish it could last just a little bit longer. I wish she could be completely delighted in, in every situation. I wish I could take her heart & protect it from every unkind word & action. I wish I could make her realize that she is beautiful, that she is enough. I wish growing up didn't mean letting go of the things that make us who we are for the things that other people want us to be. I wish my own innocence hadn't been torn from me so early.I don't know but I think innocence is worth fighting for & that childhood should be held onto until the last possible moment. Instead of trying to prepare children for the harshness of reality maybe we should indulge the beauty & wonder in a child's heart. Maybe then the world wouldn't be quite so harsh.
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| It's been one year. One year since I made the conscience decision to turn my back on everything I have ever know to be true. It's been a long year. Full of deceit, guilt,running,anger,shame. But, it has also been a year full of forgiveness,grace,love, new life. It's funny how just one decision can change the whole direction you are moving in. I didn't mean for it to go as far as it did. It was never my intention to push everyone away. The sad thing is that I did it for the stupidest reason. I was so angry at God. As if I even have any right to question His decisions, much less disagree with them. Looking back now I'd like to say that if I could go back in time I would make the right decision, I would change it all; but, if I am honest I must admit that a part of me is glad that it all happened. I needed to fall. I needed to screw up. I needed to realize that I am no better than anyone else, that I am just as much of a sinner as every other human being. I was so prideful.I have no desire to ever be that girl again, so if this is what it took to get me to this moment then it's ok. I am so aware that I have been a completely crappy person the last 12 months. I pushed away the people that love me including my Jesus. I gave up way too much to a boy that completely screwed me over. I've been a liar, a drunk, everything I shouldn't have been. I'm just so grateful that none of the damage done was irreversible. Grateful that Jesus met me where I was, picked me up out of my filth. Washed my dirty face. Gave me new clothes. Gave me new life. Now, I finally understand the truth of that verse about "he who has been forgiven much, loves much." I am sorry for the person I've been lately, but I am no longer the same. I am completely in love with my Jesus.
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| MAYBE.....
Maybe...God wanted us to meet the wrong people
before meeting the right one
so that, when we finally meet the right person,
we will know how to be
grateful for that gift.
Maybe...when the door
of happiness closes, another opens; but, often
times, we look so long at the
closed door that we don't even see the new
one which has been opened for
us.
Maybe...it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it,
but
it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until
it
arrives.
Maybe...the happiest of people don't necessarily have the
best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along
their
way.
Maybe...the brightest future will always be based on a
forgotten past;
after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let
go of your
past mistakes, failures and heartaches.
Maybe...you should
dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go;
be what you want to
be, because you have only one life and one chance to do
all the things you
dream of and want to do.
Maybe...there are moments in life when you miss
someone -- a parent, a
spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just
want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real.
Maybe...the
best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and
swing with, never
say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the
best conversation
you've ever had.
Maybe...you should always try to put yourself in
others' shoes. If you
feel that something could hurt you, it probably will
hurt the other person,
too.
Maybe...you should do something nice for
someone every single day, even if
it is simply to leave them
alone.
Maybe...giving someone all your love is never an assurance that
they will
love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to
grow in
their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in
yours.
Maybe...happiness waits for all those who cry,all those who hurt,
all those
who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they
can
appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their
lives.
Maybe...you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; Don't go for
wealth;
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it
takes
only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes
your
heart smile.
Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to
make you sweet, enough
trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you
human, and enough hope
to make you happy.
And the last maybe.....when
you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was
smiling.
Maybe...you should try to live your life so that when you die,
you are the
one who is smiling and everyone around you is
crying. | | |
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